


May the Error Four-oh-Four be with you

by moonsamurai



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, c h a o s, here's some crack, may the fourth be with you but late, phoenix declaring war on me huh, silver gave me this idea hfkladsjlk, well then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsamurai/pseuds/moonsamurai
Summary: four does some bullshit and hyrule becomes a firework
Relationships: Four & Hyrule (Linked Universe), Hyrule & Legend (Linked Universe), Legend & Warriors (Linked Universe)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 64





	May the Error Four-oh-Four be with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BluePhoenixRising16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluePhoenixRising16/gifts).



> you’re up bitch
> 
> basically phoenix is amazing, she called the fuck out of me earlier so it’s her turn :)

It was a pretty nice day. The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing coolly, and the goddesses had apparently decreed the Links could have a break. 

Like always, that wasn’t exactly the point. 

Four glanced over at Hyrule and Legend, who were chatting cheerfully at the shore, the waves lapping up at their bare feet. 

It was nice, not having to--

“Hey squires!”

“Did you just call me a squire?” Legend asked, glancing around to glare at Warriors, who just bent down and clapped Legend’s shoulder. 

“I mean- I’m not… a squire,” Hyrule said with a raised eyebrow, wincing as the captain smacked his own shoulder. “Much less a knight…”

_“Goddammit.”_

_“Aw come on…”_

_“But Hyrule is a knight!!”_ _  
__  
__“Fuck it, we’re using plan four-oh-four.”_

_“Wait, Blue, no, it’s not time--”_

_“It’ll be fine!!”_

Four got up, his eyes flashing cobalt as he slowly and calmly stepped towards the trio. 

“Oh, hey Four, what’re you--”

Legend didn’t even get to finish his sentence as Four raised a hand up. 

_“Wait Blue, this isn’t plan four-oh-four--”_

_“It’s fiiiine-”_

_“BLUE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”_

“WHAT THE FUCK, FOUR?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING--”

“Relax, relax!!”

Hyrule was screaming bloody murder in his own Hylian while Four slowly raised his hand upwards, up and down, up and down, like a joystick during a speedrun. 

Completely fucking broken.

_“STOP BLUE WHAT THE HELL--”_

_“Set him on fire!! Fireworks!!”_ _  
__  
__“RED, NO!!!”_

Legend and Warriors, very subtly, started backing away as Four started cackling.

M e n a c i n g l y.

“If I set him on fire, I could dunk him in the ocean to put him out, right?”

“What the fuck, Four?”  
  
 _“RED STOP USING PLAN ERROR FOUR-OH-FOUR TROUBLESHOOT TECHNIQUES!!!”_

_“But I wanna set him on fire!”_

_“HYRULE MIGHT FUCKING_ **_DIE._ ** _”_

_“No!! I can drop him into the ocean!!”_

_“RED.”_

Four pulled out the fire rod with a smile, causing Hyrule to scream even louder than before. It was… almost no use, considering that the others were back at the village, probably having their own adventures. 

“STOP, DO _NOT_ SET ME ON FIRE,” Hyrule screeched in his native language. Thing was, Four didn’t understand said language. So he went ahead anyways.

Basically, the spark turned into a flame. Very fast. 

There was a lot of screaming as Four dropped his hand quickly. Hyrule dropped into the ocean. 

“Four… are you okay…?”

A cheerful smile spread on Four’s face as his eyes turned violet for a moment. 

“Perfectly fine.”

As fine as he could get, which was _not_ fine, but close enough, right?

“Ohhhh-kay. Uh… I- I guess I should go see if the others are doing fine--”

“No, bitch, give me your scarf, I’m swimming out to him.”

“Fuckin’-- fine.” 

Four was about to pitch in when a head burst out over the surface.

“FOUR YOU SON OF A BITCH.”

“Oh, hey Hyrule!”

“YOU ALMOST _KILLED_ ME!!”

Four laughed, his eyes going red. 

“Nahhh. You just became fireworks!!”

“What. The hell.”

The blacksmith just smiled, raising his hands up. 

_“I swear to god, Vio.”_

_“I’m only bringing him back to shore.”_

_“You better be.”_

“Four!! No!”  
  


He startled as Legend smacked his hand. He watched as Hyrule yeeted off even further, being flung closer to the horizon. 

“LEGEND!!”

“SHIT, HYRULE!!!”

“YOU GUYS SUUUUUUCK!!!”

“Yeah, I agree with Hyrule,” Warriors said, concern etched on his face. “I-- Poor Hyrule.”

Four shoved Legend away and raised his hand again, pinpointing Hyrule in the distance, who was struggling to swim. 

_“Alright, one more goddamn time.”_

_“Please. I hate you, Blue.”_

_“Oh, c’mon Green!”_

Slowly but surely, Four brought Hyrule back, who was soaked to the bone, and generally… extremely unhappy.

“Fuck you,” he hissed when he landed, his legs wobbling. 

“Aww, sorry Hyrule, didnt know you were like that.”

“Could you _not,_ Legend?!”

Four giggled (It was Red) and leaned closer to Hyrule. 

“What do you want, you bitch?”

“May the fourth be with you.”

He backed away a couple steps as Hyrule blinked before sprinting away. 

“GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!!”

_“KEEP RUNNING, RED, DON’T STOP.”_

_“I’M NOT GONNA!!”_

**Author's Note:**

> Phoenix you’re a lil shit I love you  
> check out phoenix’s stuff it’s great  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluePhoenixRising16  
> happy birthday bitchhhh!


End file.
